Sep 23, 2009
I Will Never Forget
I will never forget you, my dear friend, Debbie.
I am missing you; your friendship, your smiles, and your laughter.
I know you went to be in the arms of God, September 30, 2008. I couldn't even imagine living without you; and yet a full year has gone by.
I know that you would be so proud of me. I can hear you laughing and joking and being so excited of how God has worked in my life these last few months. I have had to do some growing up since you left.
You would have cried with me during some times this year, and yet been so excited with me with the blessings God has given me lately. I can hear you praising God at the fact that I am now working...and it's in the medical field.
Who knew that when I helped you study for your medical exam last year that I would need to know those medical terms now?
I will never forget the day you took me to get a procedure done.
The nurse wouldn't let me go home because every time I looked at you, my pulse would go up. We laughed hard and were trying to keep quiet; the other patients were sleeping in the hospital room. You told me to not look at you, but that just made me laugh even more and then my pulse would rise again.
Then there was that time you took me to the doctors and cheered me on as I had to drink 3 of those chalky drinks. Yuck. We tried working on a Bible Crossword puzzle that was so difficult.When I was done with my appointment, I was impressed that you finished most of the crossword. You then laughed and said that you got most of them from the answers in the back of the book.
I will never forget the times we would go to the health store. You would get your yogurt and I would get mine with soy.
I would buy us those special homemade, healthy vegan cookies and then we would drive to the nearby park and talk as we enjoyed the healthy snacks. We even had many conversations over the phone. We would talk and pray for each other. You gave me great advice and I tried to give you some too.
I will never forget how concerned you were for your family
and how much you loved and cared for them.
Even the times you left the house for long periods of time, you asked me to check in on Corrinne to make sure she was okay. And I did several times.
I remember going to Mark's 5th or 6th grade graduation; you were so proud of him; and I enjoyed watching him present a rose to you that day. I remember when the cancer came back; Matt would enroll in College in Washington.
He was going to wait, but you told him to go ahead and attend.
You cared about him so much, and wanted what was best for him and his future.
I remember going to Melody's outdoor wedding and how cold it was.
It was so nice to see you smile so proudly for Melody and Josh.
I will never forget when we celebrated Corrinne's 80th birthday.
Rob allowed me to use his new video camera. I was having fun recording everyone with my not-so-steady hand.
I even quietly taped you getting the birthday cake ready and then you looked up and squealed. I remember when Rob would give me some rocks that he said had fake gold in them. I would humor him and take them; you just quietly smiled and shook your head.
I will never forget our last Christmas together.
You bought me some polka-dotted, thermal pj's because you knew how cold I get in the winter. You said that anyone who gets up in the middle of the night to pray for people needs to be warm. I told you they remind me of Baskin Robins, which has cold ice cream. brrr
As you gave me that present, you told me you had cookies for me also.
Because I wasn't at church the day you brought them for me, you didn't want them to go bad, so you ate them. We laughed together when you told me about that. You always had a way of cracking me up; also I think one year, you ate my Easter bunny you had for me too because I wasn’t at church. You didn’t want it to go bad either. Now I realize you had a thing for sweets.
I will never forget how four or us celebrated our birthdays together last year.
Jennifer, Penny, you, and I went to Famous Dave’s and had our dinner delivered to us in a trash can lid.
We all laughed, took pictures, ate lots, and enjoyed each other’s company.
We asked the waitress to take our picture together and I didn’t realize that it would be our last picture with you.
I will never forget the first day you were in the hospital
in September of last year.
We bonked heads as you tilted your head to lean on my head;
you told me how to keep on living for God no matter what happens to you.
You told me to be strong and everything would be okay.
You told me you would probably die soon but I wouldn't accept it, until now.
I will never forget how Penny and I were praying for you
and you apologized as you kept falling asleep on that day you were admitted to the hospital. I told you not to worry about it; we will just pray for you.
I remember how Rob would sneak me in your hospital room so that I could see you.
Almost every time I saw you, when you were awake, you would lean your head next to mine.You would smile no matter what state you were in, in that last month of your life here on earth.
One day as I was talking with you, I didn’t realize that you couldn’t see anymore.
You asked Rob, if I was the one with the beautiful brown hair. You would always talk about my hair and how you loved it and didn’t think it was fare that I had healthy hair with all the medications I am on.
I told you I would shave my hair to make you feel more at ease about your hair falling out.
You told me to not do that; you wanted everything to look normal, so I thankfully said okay.
I will never forget your last night here on earth.
Irene, Liz, and I came to your hospital room and quietly prayed with you.
You were sleeping but I knew your spirit heard us.
I noticed your breathing was different and I called the nurse.
As we waited, Irene quietly sang a song to you; I felt someone pass by me, but no one was behind me. Then Liz saw a vision of you joyfully going to heaven, and we realized later that, at that time, that is when you had entered heaven. I had a hard time that night and the months to follow.
The nurse let us say goodbye to you. When I hugged you, I noticed it was different; it wasn’t you anymore. Your spirit had gone to heaven; your physical body had died. You were no longer there.
I called our pastor and he came that night to the hospital to console us.
Liz, Irene, and I left the hospital teary-eyed, yet praising God for we knew exactly where you were. We knew that we felt God’s spirit and presence that night. God made it a special night for us.
You are still with our Heavenly Father, who we live for and will someday be able to see His face like you do right now. I am grateful you are in Heaven, in a better place without sickness or pain. I thank God that He allowed me to spend those years with you on this earth and I will take what you taught me and teach others.
I will never forget you, my dear friend Debbie.
Love your sister, Tanya Mae
I am missing you; your friendship, your smiles, and your laughter.
I know you went to be in the arms of God, September 30, 2008. I couldn't even imagine living without you; and yet a full year has gone by.
I know that you would be so proud of me. I can hear you laughing and joking and being so excited of how God has worked in my life these last few months. I have had to do some growing up since you left.
You would have cried with me during some times this year, and yet been so excited with me with the blessings God has given me lately. I can hear you praising God at the fact that I am now working...and it's in the medical field.
Who knew that when I helped you study for your medical exam last year that I would need to know those medical terms now?
I will never forget the day you took me to get a procedure done.
The nurse wouldn't let me go home because every time I looked at you, my pulse would go up. We laughed hard and were trying to keep quiet; the other patients were sleeping in the hospital room. You told me to not look at you, but that just made me laugh even more and then my pulse would rise again.
Then there was that time you took me to the doctors and cheered me on as I had to drink 3 of those chalky drinks. Yuck. We tried working on a Bible Crossword puzzle that was so difficult.When I was done with my appointment, I was impressed that you finished most of the crossword. You then laughed and said that you got most of them from the answers in the back of the book.
I will never forget the times we would go to the health store. You would get your yogurt and I would get mine with soy.
I would buy us those special homemade, healthy vegan cookies and then we would drive to the nearby park and talk as we enjoyed the healthy snacks. We even had many conversations over the phone. We would talk and pray for each other. You gave me great advice and I tried to give you some too.
I will never forget how concerned you were for your family
and how much you loved and cared for them.
Even the times you left the house for long periods of time, you asked me to check in on Corrinne to make sure she was okay. And I did several times.
I remember going to Mark's 5th or 6th grade graduation; you were so proud of him; and I enjoyed watching him present a rose to you that day. I remember when the cancer came back; Matt would enroll in College in Washington.
He was going to wait, but you told him to go ahead and attend.
You cared about him so much, and wanted what was best for him and his future.
I remember going to Melody's outdoor wedding and how cold it was.
It was so nice to see you smile so proudly for Melody and Josh.
I will never forget when we celebrated Corrinne's 80th birthday.
Rob allowed me to use his new video camera. I was having fun recording everyone with my not-so-steady hand.
I even quietly taped you getting the birthday cake ready and then you looked up and squealed. I remember when Rob would give me some rocks that he said had fake gold in them. I would humor him and take them; you just quietly smiled and shook your head.
I will never forget our last Christmas together.
You bought me some polka-dotted, thermal pj's because you knew how cold I get in the winter. You said that anyone who gets up in the middle of the night to pray for people needs to be warm. I told you they remind me of Baskin Robins, which has cold ice cream. brrr
As you gave me that present, you told me you had cookies for me also.
Because I wasn't at church the day you brought them for me, you didn't want them to go bad, so you ate them. We laughed together when you told me about that. You always had a way of cracking me up; also I think one year, you ate my Easter bunny you had for me too because I wasn’t at church. You didn’t want it to go bad either. Now I realize you had a thing for sweets.
I will never forget how four or us celebrated our birthdays together last year.
Jennifer, Penny, you, and I went to Famous Dave’s and had our dinner delivered to us in a trash can lid.
We all laughed, took pictures, ate lots, and enjoyed each other’s company.
We asked the waitress to take our picture together and I didn’t realize that it would be our last picture with you.
I will never forget the first day you were in the hospital
in September of last year.
We bonked heads as you tilted your head to lean on my head;
you told me how to keep on living for God no matter what happens to you.
You told me to be strong and everything would be okay.
You told me you would probably die soon but I wouldn't accept it, until now.
I will never forget how Penny and I were praying for you
and you apologized as you kept falling asleep on that day you were admitted to the hospital. I told you not to worry about it; we will just pray for you.
I remember how Rob would sneak me in your hospital room so that I could see you.
Almost every time I saw you, when you were awake, you would lean your head next to mine.You would smile no matter what state you were in, in that last month of your life here on earth.
One day as I was talking with you, I didn’t realize that you couldn’t see anymore.
You asked Rob, if I was the one with the beautiful brown hair. You would always talk about my hair and how you loved it and didn’t think it was fare that I had healthy hair with all the medications I am on.
I told you I would shave my hair to make you feel more at ease about your hair falling out.
You told me to not do that; you wanted everything to look normal, so I thankfully said okay.
I will never forget your last night here on earth.
Irene, Liz, and I came to your hospital room and quietly prayed with you.
You were sleeping but I knew your spirit heard us.
I noticed your breathing was different and I called the nurse.
As we waited, Irene quietly sang a song to you; I felt someone pass by me, but no one was behind me. Then Liz saw a vision of you joyfully going to heaven, and we realized later that, at that time, that is when you had entered heaven. I had a hard time that night and the months to follow.
The nurse let us say goodbye to you. When I hugged you, I noticed it was different; it wasn’t you anymore. Your spirit had gone to heaven; your physical body had died. You were no longer there.
I called our pastor and he came that night to the hospital to console us.
Liz, Irene, and I left the hospital teary-eyed, yet praising God for we knew exactly where you were. We knew that we felt God’s spirit and presence that night. God made it a special night for us.
You are still with our Heavenly Father, who we live for and will someday be able to see His face like you do right now. I am grateful you are in Heaven, in a better place without sickness or pain. I thank God that He allowed me to spend those years with you on this earth and I will take what you taught me and teach others.
I will never forget you, my dear friend Debbie.
Love your sister, Tanya Mae
Sep 18, 2009
Contentment
I shall be content
through doctor’s appointments, blood tests, MRI’s, EKG’s and physical examinations;
through medications, ultrasounds, wellness shots, physical therapy, and neck and back adjustments;
through electric stimulation, deep massage, posture pro, and trigger point injections.
I shall be content
through no sleep to restless sleep, dropping things, forgetfulness, and lightheadedness;
through muscle spasms, daily headaches, ongoing stomach issues, and lack of energy;
through allergic reactions, cervical vertigo, sensitive hearing, and even silent illnesses.
I have slowly learned to be content
through having an income to low income and being on a lowered income of SSA Disability;
through ongoing medical-life adjustments, benefits taken away, and finances becoming even tighter;
through two to five doctor’s appointments a week to learning to become a patient - patient.
I am learning to be content
through God who is my ultimate Father, my companion, my guide, and my counselor;
through God who is faithful, compassionate, kind, omnipotent, and omniscient;
through God who understands, is lovable, and is one who is always here with me.
I am learning to be content
through God’s closeness, companionship, ultimate strength, His amazing grace and mercy;
through God’s blessings, patience, unconditional love and His total understanding of me;
through God’s beautiful presence, awesome friendship, and His ultimate being.
Tanya Kirkendall (I can not live without God's help
through doctor’s appointments, blood tests, MRI’s, EKG’s and physical examinations;
through medications, ultrasounds, wellness shots, physical therapy, and neck and back adjustments;
through electric stimulation, deep massage, posture pro, and trigger point injections.
I shall be content
through no sleep to restless sleep, dropping things, forgetfulness, and lightheadedness;
through muscle spasms, daily headaches, ongoing stomach issues, and lack of energy;
through allergic reactions, cervical vertigo, sensitive hearing, and even silent illnesses.
I have slowly learned to be content
through having an income to low income and being on a lowered income of SSA Disability;
through ongoing medical-life adjustments, benefits taken away, and finances becoming even tighter;
through two to five doctor’s appointments a week to learning to become a patient - patient.
I am learning to be content
through God who is my ultimate Father, my companion, my guide, and my counselor;
through God who is faithful, compassionate, kind, omnipotent, and omniscient;
through God who understands, is lovable, and is one who is always here with me.
I am learning to be content
through God’s closeness, companionship, ultimate strength, His amazing grace and mercy;
through God’s blessings, patience, unconditional love and His total understanding of me;
through God’s beautiful presence, awesome friendship, and His ultimate being.
Tanya Kirkendall (I can not live without God's help
God's Beautiful Masterpiece
I have one of my grandmother’s paintings handed down to me from my mother. I have had it for many years and recently noticed a yellow film coating the painting. A friend of mine told me how to restore the painting by using cotton balls, dish soap and water.
As I gently cleaned the delicate picture, I began to see beautiful bright colors come from the flowers that surrounded the bird. The vibrant colors of pink, yellow, blue, and green popped out as though I had just painted it myself. As the first layer of yellow film began to disappear, I noticed the strokes of the paintbrush embedded in the paint. I traced them with my finger and wondered what she was thinking and how was her life at the moment she painted this beautiful picture. What was on her mind the moment she stroked the brush against the canvas?
The original painting was so much more vibrant when the yellow coating was cleaned up. I had to let it dry completely before I am able to take the 2nd layer of the yellow film off. I guess you can say that it’s a process to clean an old and delicate picture.
The process of cleaning the picture reminds me of how God is with us. Every one of us is His original paintings. He brushed each stroke of our body and our lives; we are in the palm of His hands.
We were born into sin and this sin has put an ugly film over us which makes it hard to see God’s original work. When we acknowledge and accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, He completely cleans off the yellow film of sin from us and we begin to see God’s masterpiece.
Even when we are Christians, sin sometimes builds up. We have to continually go to Jesus Christ for him to cleanse us and make us more beautiful, God's beautiful masterpiece.
As I gently cleaned the delicate picture, I began to see beautiful bright colors come from the flowers that surrounded the bird. The vibrant colors of pink, yellow, blue, and green popped out as though I had just painted it myself. As the first layer of yellow film began to disappear, I noticed the strokes of the paintbrush embedded in the paint. I traced them with my finger and wondered what she was thinking and how was her life at the moment she painted this beautiful picture. What was on her mind the moment she stroked the brush against the canvas?
The original painting was so much more vibrant when the yellow coating was cleaned up. I had to let it dry completely before I am able to take the 2nd layer of the yellow film off. I guess you can say that it’s a process to clean an old and delicate picture.
The process of cleaning the picture reminds me of how God is with us. Every one of us is His original paintings. He brushed each stroke of our body and our lives; we are in the palm of His hands.
We were born into sin and this sin has put an ugly film over us which makes it hard to see God’s original work. When we acknowledge and accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, He completely cleans off the yellow film of sin from us and we begin to see God’s masterpiece.
Even when we are Christians, sin sometimes builds up. We have to continually go to Jesus Christ for him to cleanse us and make us more beautiful, God's beautiful masterpiece.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)