To My Fibromyalgia or Chronic Pain Support Group

To those of you who have Chronic Pain or Fibro, this post is for you:

I'm so glad you all are in this group...I wish you all didn't have to suffer but I feel a new bond of support because we all seem to go through the same things. You all are my new fibro buddies....or should I say the msd's "moist-sensitive buddies" or the bpf's "barometric pressure friends"...whatever we call our selves, I wish we didn't have to go through the horrific pains and other health issues that go along with it...

I have learned through all this pain, to encourage others since I know what it is to be in various types of pains....To all of you...I hope and pray you have a great day...with more strength to do what you have to do, the courage to face the day...and to remember to take care of your self whether it is hot packs, Epsom salt baths, relaxing, or doing whatever you have to do to take the edge off.

Some of the most frustrating things we deal with is not being able to do what we want to do when we want to do it.  I did whatever I could yesterday to take care of myself so that I would be able to go to church..I took the Epsom salt bath, used the massager and the healax,  rested, and stretched but all night I suffered in pain.  It can be so frustrating to not do simple things like going to church.  It is good to go out and socialize and be connected with people yet it is so hard when pain has got me down. So it is a breath of fresh air to know I have you all on my team.

I know you all know what I mean because you deal with it daily too.  Remember to take care of yourself. Plus try to find an outlet for your pain.  I paint and do creative writing to help me forget the pain I am in and to focus on other things. I also have to lean on God for his strength because I would go nuts if I didn't.


Dear God
I pray for my new fibro friends in the support group.  You know what we all are going through. I ask for a healing in our lives, to take away this excruciating pain.Yet I know if that is not your will, I pray you give us strength to be able to get up, face the day, help us to take care of what we need to in our lives, and help us to be able to get out of the house when we are in so much pain so we don't seclude ourselves.  God, you are the God who saw Jesus die on that cross thousands of years ago.  You even heard Jesus cry in the garden of Gethsemane before he was on the cross, "Lord, please take this cup from me. Yet Let your will be done."  It was your will for him to die on the cross to take away our sins. and He ended up being raised from the dead and is alive and well...

 Lord I ask for your healing...Yet if you do not heal us, I ask you to show us what your will is for us. Thank you that you have brought us this far. I know I couldn't have lived with all this pain, without your unconditional love and strength... God, please touch each of my fibro buddies today and everyday and if anyone of them is mad at you for not taking the pain away, please help them through it.  I know that I used to be angry with you for not healing me but now I know I have a purpose in my life to help others...Help them through the hurt, the angry, and the frustrations, but most of all help them through the pain so that they can lean on you for love, grace, strength and hope like I have.....Thank you
Amen


Fibro buddies, have a blessed day...Remember to take one day at a time... Live second to second...We are strong people to have to deal with all this pain...Remember we are conquerors...


note: portrait picture taken by Tanya Kirkendall
Dove painting painted by Tanya Kirkendall

Just Blogging..hmmm....Interesting!!!

Darlene Douthit drew a caricature of me

Last night when I spent my alone time with God, I started thinking about how I should be more intimate with God. I tried thinking of people in the Bible I could research who had an intimate relationship with God and I could follow their example. You may think it sounds strange to ask about who has an intimate relationship with God because some people associate intimacy with their lover or sex. I am not talking about that kind of intimacy.  


In the Webster's New World Dictionary and Thesaurus, it defines intimacy as very close or familiar; deep and thorough; and private or personal.


When I say I want an intimate relationship with God, I mean that I want a very close and deep relationship with Him.  I want to know Him more. What does God like? What does He desire for me? When one has an intimate relationship with someone, he/she will try to learn all about that person. What do they like? What are their goals or aspirations?  What are their hobbies? What do they do outside of work? Are they a Christian or are they totally against God? What is their favorite color?  What do they like to do for fun? What is their favorite meal? How do they like to spend quality time with you?  One can not learn about the other if they do not communicate to each other. 



I sometimes imagine God sitting beside me and talking to me. I try to sit still and listen to His quiet voice and then, I communicate with Him. I will tell Him things that I like about Him (praising Him) or I may share a need that I have for me or others (interceding). Other times I may just talk excitedly in my thoughts or out loud and just tell Him all the great things that are happening in my life. I know this may sound crazy because He already knows everything. Yet it's in those times that when we stop and communicate with God, that they may be the most precious moments we have with Him.  But if we are doing all the talking then we are missing out on LISTENING to HIM about HIS desires, HIS love, and HIS will. HE desires a two-way communication.


Okay, so getting back to my little Bible study I did. I desire to have a strong, intimate relationship with God.  Because I want to be as close to God as I can, I tried to think of someone in the Bible who had an intimate relationship with God. While trying to think of people, I came to the conclusion that Enoch must have had an intimate relationship with God, so here it goes.


When I first started researching information about Enoch, I did not realize that there were two of them in the Bible.  I started studying one of them in Genesis 4 and realized I was researching the wrong one. The first Enoch you hear about is the one who is the son of Cain also known as the son of Adam and Eve. Cain was not a good person because he killed his brother Abel, so therefore, his parents, Adam and Eve, had to have another son, Seth, who would be a family link from Adam to Jesus' birth.


I want to talk to you about the second Enoch that is in the Bible; this "Enoch" is the son of Jared.  First, we read in the paragraph above that Seth is a son of Adam and Eve. In Genesis 5:6 Seth had a son named Enosh and then Enosh had Kenan; Kenan had Mahalalel; and Mahalalel had Jared. When Jared was a ripe age of 162 years old, he had Enoch. Enoch was the sixth person born in Adam's line from Adam to Jesus.  So now we know that Enoch's dad is Jared. We don't know much about him except after he had Enoch, he lived 800 more years and had sons and daughters.  I wonder if he was still having children while he was at the age of 789. What kind of father was Jared to Enoch and his siblings? Were Jared and his wife strong believers in God?  Did they teach their children to serve God? How was Enoch's mom in all of this? Actually how OLD was she at the time all of her children were born and how many were there? Were they changing diapers at this old age? 


It doesn't mention the age of Enoch's mother, let alone her name. I think anyone having a husband for over 800 years deserves to be named. You know, she could have died at an earlier age after all her kids were born. We will never know, until we get to Heaven. Okay so now Jared dies at an old age of 962 years. Wow, I wonder what they used for wrinkle cream back then. Did he have a lot of people at his funeral or did he outlive his friends and family? Sometimes I think that 40-50 years on earth is a long time; I couldn't imagine living 800 more years. Wow, that just seems so long!


In Genesis 5:18-21, Enoch lived only sixty-five years before he had Methuselah. I said "only" sixty-five years because it just seems so young compared to the age his father was when he had Enoch; Jared was 162 years of age. Sixty-five years sounds like a baby when you think about that Jared died at 962 years. Any way, after Enoch had Methuselah, Enoch walked with God three hundred years and had sons and daughters within that time frame.  The Bible doesn't mention that Enoch walked with God before Methuselah so I wonder what happened in Enoch's life to get him to that point of wanting to walk with God. Was Methuselah one of those miracle babies that was going to die and they needed lots of prayer to keep him alive or did something else happen around that time?  I was thinking that he might have had some kind of encounter with God or some kind of closeness or intimacy with God. Did Enoch's parents train him to live a godly life? Maybe at one time, Enoch was living for God, but when he became a teenager or young adult at the age of 65 (lol), maybe he started living the way his parents taught him to live. We can only speculate at this time because not much is said.


In Genesis 5:23-24 "Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years.  Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away."


Can you imagine that being in the news about you or I.  NEWS FLASH!!! "Susan lived 365 years. Susan walked with God; then she was no more, because God took her away."  I can just see the headlines now, making fun of this event or doing some kind of report on a mysterious missing person of some UFO sighting that must have abducted Susan. 


The Bible does not mention how he disappeared or how he was taken. It just says that Enoch walked with God and then God took him. Period. He's gone; The end... but why? Why did God take Enoch away?


Hebrews 11:5-6  "By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."


Can you imagine one day, your father or your husband had just disappeared? Did Enoch's wife or children get the warning ahead of time that he was leaving this earth? Did his wife look for him everywhere and were the police investigating what happened? Was there a search party for him? Was his wife or children not pleasing God like he did? Wow, he was walking with God and then poof, he's gone; because he pleased God.  Does God still take people off of this earth when they are walking with God?




What do we know about Enoch?  The only other thing I could find about Enoch was in Jude 14 where it says that Enoch prophesied. Okay, so we know that Enoch had children, a wife, and many siblings; plus he walked with God and he prophesied. That's about all we know. 


How do you think Enoch walked with God? When it says that he walked with God, I imagine him doing everything in his life he could, to please God. Are we pleasing God or are we pleasing our own earthly desires? Are we living on this earth just to fill space until it's our time to leave this earth, or are we living on this earth in doing God's will and pleasing Him.  Do we include God in our everyday life? or Are we just a Sunday Christian; do we pray and sing to God only on Sundays?

Prospect Park, Redlands, CA (photo by Teensy's Art)

I challenge you (and myself) to walk with God. Be so close to God that you can listen to His heartbeat. When you are listening for a heartbeat on a person, you have to be still and be quiet so you can hear it beat. When is the last time we heard God's heartbeat? How can we please God, our creator? We are on this earth for a reason; there is a special reason why God chose us to be born? He did not have to include you when he created people and their souls. I mean, he knew you and I would be born ahead of time. I am pretty sure God could have said, "hmm,  I know the future and in 1994, Tanya will not please me so let's not even create her soul."  Thankfully He did not do that for probably none of us would be born and He doesn't want robots serving Him.  Do you like it when people do things for you because they love it or just because they have to? Now put those thoughts and ideas into serving and pleasing God. You will be amazed how enjoyable it becomes.


Oh, I forgot to mention: about the thing of how Enoch served and pleased God and then God took him. Yes, I believe that was a special case. I can't imagine God taking everyone away who pleased Him. It was something special that God did with Enoch at that time, and hopefully in the eternal future, we will see or understand why He did that. Be free to please God; He might just bless your socks off.


Note: If you would like to read information about the genealogy of how Adam, Seth, and Enoch are in the ancestry of Jesus, read 1 Chronicles chapter 1 (refer to verse 3) and also read Luke 3:38.


Note: all scripture in this post is from the (New International Version) NIV, 1984 edition.


Remember that you can leave a comment by clicking "Post a Comment" below. It will link you to a place you can type in your name and comment. Type in your comment in the comment box. Below that you will see "Please prove you're not a robot"  and then type the two words they request in the appopriate box. You will notice it says "choose your identity." Click on "name;" type in your name. Then click on "publish your comment." Thank you.

Happy New Year 2012

I pray you have goals that you will accomplish, tasks that you will complete, and dreams to keep you going and give you hope of something to look forward to. May you always be willing to grow, learn, and be taught.

This year could be the end of your life on earth or it could be a beginning of great things to come. This year could hold tragedy in your life or it could be the happiest, joyful year you could ever imagine. No matter what it is, I challenge you to have a relationship with the true God. Because WITH Him, there is true hope, true peace, true joy, and true love that is with Him. He is also someone to lean on, to get strength from, and to depend on when you need someone through hard times. May God guide your footsteps to do HIS will and may you be a willing vessel to do what is in HIS plan for your life.

I pray a blessing over you and your family that you will find peace, comfort, and joy. I pray you have an awesome year and may this be the best year of your life. May you have a wonderful, blessed year in 2012. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Love Tanya Kirkendall
a.k.a. Teensy

How Does God Answer Prayers? another thought to ponder

Jesus Christ knew what He came down on earth for. He knew in advance what He was going to accomplish, who He would come in contact with, and how His life would end. He knew He would be beaten, mocked, cursed at, ridiculed, and then crucified. Even when He knew what was going to happen, He didn't run away or hide. Jesus Christ kept doing what He was supposed to do; He obeyed His Father and did His will.

Jesus spent a lot of time with the 12 disciples whom He mentored. He didn't rub it in their face and say, "Because all of the bad things you and everyone in the world has done, I have to be crucified and go through a lot of anguish..." No he didn't say that. He didn't even throw a pity party and say, "woe is me." He felt total compassion for them and the generations to come, which includes you and I.

Jesus brought the disciples with Him to Gethsemane and asked them to sit while He walked away from them to pray; He had Peter, James, and John go with Him. I think He chose those three to go with them for support and He just needed His close friends by Him. Remember this Jesus (who is also God) is in human form when He was on this earth. He felt pain and emotions just like you and I do.

Suddenly the weight of this heavy burden was on His shoulders; He began to be sorrowful and troubled and told them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death; stay here and keep watch with me."

When He was in the garden praying, He fell on His face and cried out to his Father (God). I think he was probably feeling very "alone" at this moment. He cried out,
"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." He not only prayed this once, but three times.

He knew what He was about to go through; I think perhaps He was hoping that His Father would change His mind and not have Him go through the suffering He was about to go through. He knew that God could take this from Him in an instant. He had seen people healed of leprosy, others raised from the dead, and even demons being cast out of people. So why did His Father, God, not answer His prayer the way He wanted it to be answered? Why was this time different? Surely God could change His mind; surely God could find another way to take away the sins of the world. But God knew best.


As Jesus prayed and felt so heavy and burdened down, an angel came to Him and strengthened Him. There are so many times in our own lives when we are going through tough times, that God may send an angel to help us or strengthen us.

Jesus was in so much anguish about what He was going to do that while He prayed, His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. He was basically in turmoil. He prayed again: "Not my Will, but Yours." He had put His feelings and emotions aside, and told His Father that He would go through with it because He knew it's what His Father wanted Him to do.

I can imagine that maybe Jesus' mother quietly begged God, "God, please don't let Jesus die; don't let my baby go through pain or sorrow. You know He has served you wholeheartedly; He was a good boy and has grown up to be a godly man. Please take this from Him. Please God, Please." And why wasn't her prayer answered? Have you ever prayed that kind of prayer for someone you loved who was going through cancer, who was on their death bed, or who has diabetes, or some other illness. Why doesn't God answer the prayer? (Why doesn't He do what "I" think is best?) Hmmm.

I am in a growing time in my life; a time where I am learning more about God and how He answers prayer. I've always prayed a certain way when it came to praying for people. I've had faith to see people healed and a lot have not been healed, including myself. I've had faith to have a lot of prayer requests answered, my way, but a lot did not happen. I have always heard that God answers prayers by "Yes, No, or Maybe". I didn't totally understand that, until now. See, I am a person who wants to see others healed, blessed, and loved. I want to see great things happen, and not bad. I want God to answer all the prayer needs the way I think they should be, but guess what? He doesn't. But, Why? Because we don't know the outcome. We don't know that if our friend dies of cancer, than maybe her family will draw closer to God, or if a person loses their house, they possibly need to learn how to trust God more, or if a person has an injury, that even though they will be suffering physically, they will draw closer to God. See, we don't know the outcome...but God does...He knows what is best.

So when you pray: even though you are praying with all your might that your need will be met, and even though you have so much anguish that your sweat becomes blood, remember to pray what you want, but then pray that God's will, will be done. It might be the best thing that has ever happened to that person you are praying for. If God answered (my imagined) prayer of Jesus' mother, that God would not let Jesus die, than we would never have a savior. If the Father, God, answered Jesus' prayer and said, "Okay Jesus, I will not have you die on the cross," we would have no one to cover our sins. So as the old saying goes, "What would Jesus Do? Well, He would say "Father, not my will, but yours."

I know, this is easier said than done, so allow God to speak to your heart as He has mine. This is hard for me too, but I so want to do the will of God, and there are so many times, my will gets in the way.

..If you are praying for me, it's okay to pray for God's will for my life.


Oh by the way, after Jesus died on the cross, He rose again!!! He is ALIVE!!!

References: Matthew 26:36-46, Luke 22:39-46

LORD, I GIVE YOU MY VESSEL

God, I am your willing vessel.
Do to me what you will.
I am a vessel in training;
Broken, chipped, yet willing to be molded
again and again.
Do to me what you will,
so that you may be glorified
over and over.
For it is for you,
why I breathe
why I face each morning
and each night.
For it is for you,
why I live,
why I work,
move or rest.
I give you my ALL.
My WHOLE vessel.
It may be small and a bit fragile,
but it's ALL I have;
I give it to you.
EVERY piece, EVERY inch
My Vessel, I give to you.
LORD, I give you MY VESSEL.


May 15, 2008
11:23 p.m.

Your love is ALL I Need

God, I am your willing vessel;
Pour yourself inside of me.
I give my whole life to you,
that is who I really want to be.
Nothing else in this world
really matters, unless I have you.
Without you, everything would be hopeless;
so thankfully I have your love, so true.
Your love is really all I need.


by Tanya
May 14, 2008
6:30 p.m.

Teensy's Pitty Party Poem- if I were a prisoner in my own body

Tonight I lay awake
in pain
The muscle spasms have 
overtaken 
my body.
I pray as 
an ice pak
is under the back of my neck 
and one is 
over my eyes.
A heating pack is 
wrapped around
my back.

I praise God, yet 
I am in so much pain.
The throbbing pain, 
the tortured inflammation 
of my body
is screaming 
and keeping me 
awake.
God, I trust 
in you.

Jesus, how did YOU feel
with nails in you?
Nothing to soothe you, 
but death.
Yet death is 
not in my present.
For God 
wants me here
at this very moment.

I know, 
it's worth it,
yet please God,
take the edge off.
My head feels 
like it weighs a ton.
It is somewhat soothed
by the frozen water 
clenched 
against my face.
Yet,
it melts.

Prayer Meetings.

If you didn't attend the Intercessors for Restoration prayer meeting also known as: Morning of Worship and Prayer, you totally missed out. God spoke to each one of us that went.
The prayer meeting was hosted by our North Hills church and held at the Mountain View Campus this last Tuesday, July 31. God was very evident there, and I am so grateful I attended. This was the first time our church attended in this "Intercessors for Restoration" prayer meeting.

The prayer leader "Lucy" invites various churches once a month to pray together. They meet at a different church each month and is held on the last Tuesday of each month. Everyone is invited. I saw people who attend churches from Rialto, San Bernardino, Temecula, Redlands, and even "home" based churches etc...

We were led in prayer, praise, worship, and scripture. They said their number one priority is to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in these prayer meetings.

The next one will be hosted by Crossroads Christian Center (the church Lucy attends). Tuesday, August 28 (9:30 a.m. - 11:30 a.m.)

957 N. Cactus Ave.
Rialto, CA 92377
(909-874-5101)
www.crossroadschristiancenter.info
Mark your calendars; you won't want to miss this special time...

What Happens When You Pray... in You (sermon notes)

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PRAY...IN YOU

A*).PRAYER IS NOT: A magic wand (pray only to get what you want.-PRAYER IS NOT A VENDING MACHINE- you don't pop in a prayer and out comes whatever you want.
B*).PRAYER IS NOT: A first aid Kit (praying only when you have an emergency)
C*).PRAYER IS NOT: A Tug of War (fighting to get what you want- God is not going to give it to you when you are pulling and pushing your way to get what you want)
D*).PRAYER IS NOT: A Religious Duty (praying out of obligation or just because you think you ought to. It is not a duty; it's a priveledge)

1. YOU dedicate YOURSELF

{{*Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned... John 15:4-6 }}

(We need God's help. You have to be honest with God. If you cut a branch off of the tree, it will wither. It's like a Christian who cuts himself off from prayer. Without prayer you wither. Prayer is our source to God...

2. YOU connect WITH GOD 
{{*I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you... John 15:15}}
- I am a Friend of God. He chose me to be His friend. The people you love, you love to talk to. How much more will you love to talk to God, to connect with Him. Prayer is not a chore; it's NOT we HAVE TO pray. It's We "GET TO" pray. 

3. YOU activate HEAVEN
{{*If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ASK WHATEVER YOU WISH AND IT WILL BE GIVEN YOU. this is my father's glory; that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples... John 15:7-8 }}

Prayer activates Heaven. God will fulfill the desires of those who REVERANCE Him.
Ask that your joy may be full.

4. YOU cooperate WITH GOD
{{ Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it... John 14:11-14 }}


Prayer is God's design. We are cooperating with God when we PRAY FOR OTHERS. Spend time DAILY with God in prayer. When we work, we work...when we pray, God works...

Have I been praying and doing what God wants me to do? I am doing what Jesus does? Lately, Have people been healed and raised from the dead or healed from an illness because I prayed for them and God healed them. 
We are not limited by physical boundaries, time or space WHEN WE PRAY...

National Day of Prayer is Thursday, May 3

Please take time to pray for your city, state, government, country, president, etc... on Thursday, May 3. People are meeting at each city hall around the country *Preferrably from 12:20-12:40 p.m.- If you can't make it to your city hall, please pray at your home, desk, in your car, at the Jack-in-the-box or wherever you are. MAY GOD BLESS THE USA AND AROUND THE WORLD...