On the Outside, Looking In

I was out of town in February so I wasn't able to attend my church; I attended another one with some relatives. I jotted down some things that I thought were interesting.

hard wooden pews with no padding (reminded me of my church days in Japan in the 80's).
Wooden floor
huge stain glass individual windows (in memory of a loved one was under each window).
huge pipe organ display
I did admire the 7 foot stainglass window by the one-toilet-bathroom.


Two young boys come down in middle aisle to light the tiered candles.
A boy in a robe comes down middle aisle, holding a huge opened Bible in which he places it in the hands of the pastor.
The Pastor places the Bible on the wooden Bible stand at the front.

Pipe Organ solo.
choir sings.
Everyone stands and re-sites something from out of the bulletin.
Everyone grabs a hymn and sings the 4 whole verses.

Then they recite this for worship. It says:
The leader says: We gather as those who want to walk with you Jesus to Calvary.
The church says: We know that it was there that you stretched out your arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of God's saving embrace.
The leader says: so clothe us in your Spirit, O Christ, that we, in reaching forth our hands in love, may serve you in all that we do.
The church says: May we be agents of your love, doers of your will, proclaimers of your grace, workers of your justice, servants of your peace, and missionaries in your name.


Kids come up for a little illustration with a missionary from Haiti.
The missionary does her illustration of how women carry gallons of water on their head.
Children's teacher comes up and starts speaking a blessing over kids.
Then everyone starts resiting a blessing over the children.


Anyone who has a prayer or praise report is given a microphone to speak.
Pastor then says, lets be together. So I bow my head as I assumed that meant we were to pray.
The choir starts singing, the pipe organ is playing a song.
The Pastor prays for all the needs then the church immediately says the Lords Prayer.
As soon as we say amen, the choir sings a verse.

Then the golden offering plate comes my way and it's so heavy I help a lady carry it to the next person who is on our same pew.
The plate is brought to the front and we all say a prayer over it (which is on power point).
After the missionary speaks again, immediatlely everyone stand to their feet and sings another hymn.

The pastor starts preaching and then everyone sings a song while the 3 young boys in robes come up the aisle again. This time the boy gets the open Bible from the pastor's hands and the the young boys all in robes snuffs out the candles. All three boys go down the middle aisle along with the pastor and missionary right behind them.
We are still singing. Then everyone says a loud AMEN.

Even though I was a little confused of when to recite things, sing, or stand up, or sit down, I am glad for the experience. It was very interesting, and I have to admit, I did do a lot of chuckling. It was a lot different then what I am used to.

All end with a quote from The Missionary:
"Every human being is a human being."

They also said: we got to GO where we got to GO and DO what we got to DO.

What is Real Forgiveness?

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in church listening to a sermon called "What God was saying at the cross." I thought it would be the same kind of sermon you hear around Easter time when he was betrayed, tortured, whipped, crucified, etc... Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all that Jesus did and I need the reminders of what he did. It's just this time, something was said that I never really thought about.

I've always heard, and even read about, what happened before Jesus was on the cross. There were those 12 disciples and even three of them were Jesus' close amigos (Peter, James, and John). The amigos seemed to spend a lot of time with him. He walked with them, spent time with them, he had them close by when he was at the garden praying a heart wrenching prayer. They were always there...

I've always heard (and read) that Peter denies Jesus three times. Yet that is not the end of the story.

I believe that Peter loved Jesus. That was his friend, his mentor, his coach, his counselor...

Yet Jesus told Peter that Peter would deny him three times. Peter says: No way Jose, I would never do that. Jesus tells him that after he will do it three times, a rooster would crow. He probably thought: yah right, that's never going to happen.

Judas betrays Jesus by placing him in the hands of the soldiers; Peter stood up and tried to protect him. Well, I think that is what he was doing when he sliced the soldiers ear off. I think putting the sword in his heart might have done more damage, but hey the guy stopped doing what he was doing because he was in pain from his ear being sliced off. Even though, Jesus picks up the bleeding ear, and miraculously heals the soldier, I still believe that Peter showed that he loved Jesus, even though he should not have hurt the man.

So here we are later, Peter is nearby when Jesus is being accused, betrayed, etc... Peter had to be hurting so much to know that his friend Jesus was going through some really tough times that were about to get worse. Three people ask Peter if he knows this Jesus, and three times, he says no. (Wow, his good friend is being hurt and he says that he doesn't even know Jesus. They ask if he has spent time with him and he won't admit to spending time with his close friend and his soon to be savior.)

Maybe Peter was afraid that he would be tortured also. So three people ask Peter; three times, Peter denies him. Just for a moment, it's quiet, the earth stands still, and the rooster crows. Peter feels his skin crawling, and this chilling shiver runs down his back. He realized what he has done. This uncontrollable, heart wrenching painful sorrow bursts out of him. He remembers what Jesus said earlier, and he sobs in remorse. He realizes what he did. He betrayed Jesus. Jesus was at one of his weakest hours of his life He needed his friends to be there for them. BUT not one was there at his side.

Jesus dies, miraculously resurrects, and comes back to his disciples which are some of his good friends. He sees Peter. Peter sees Jesus. (I wonder what Peter is feeling at this very moment. Jesus could have said: in my weakest hour, you were not there for me. You abandoned me. You left me. You knew what I would go through, and you didn't even have the audosity to say you know me. What kind of friend are you? You really hurt me. I will never talk to you again. I am taking you out of any ministry and I do not forgive you. You may walk away;don't ever speak to me or ask for me,because I will not come. Jesus didn't say any of this to Peter.

Three times, Jesus calls his name in the most loving voice: "PETER" and talks to him and restores him. Jesus showed so much love to Peter and allowed him to feel this unconditional love. He restores him and leads him into ministry. WOW!!! What a testimony! What love!

Wow, have you ever thought about how someone you know has really hurt you. They might have done some horrible things to you. I thought I had forgiven some people all these years, but I was wrong. I didn't have true forgiveness in my heart. I honestly didn't know how to have it, but something clicked when I heard this sermon a few weeks ago and it has changed my life forever. I understand forgiveness so much more. I have been forgiven and I have forgiven others.

Thank you God, for sending me people to speak your words to my heart. I gave my life to Jesus at an early age of eleven and I stuck to what I was taught, yet I never truly understood what forgiveness was really all about, until now. I now understand true freedom, true forgiveness, and being transformed and having a newness of mind. I get it now. God, thank you for rescuing my soul.

My New Life

Lord, my new life you planned for me;
I'm so excited and anticipating it to be
so much better with so much more joy.

This new life is what you have planned for me.
This joy, this peace, this love,
you have always wanted for me,
yet I never gripped it before.

Oh Lord, this new life
is so beyond my imagination, my dreams, and my hopes.
It's purely what you wanted for me.

Thank you Jesus for your love, your hope, your joy
and thank you for starting this restoration like never before.
Only through your love, your grace, and your peace
have I changed beyond what I could imagine.

Please help me grasp it all.
All the blessings you want for me.
Give me the strength to achieve my new goals
and give me the wisdom to understand all
that I need to change in my new life.


This new life, new hopes, and new dreams
are here because I understand the cross so much more
and because of the vessels you brought in my path.
Thank you God for restoring my soul,
and getting me out of the pit of hell.

I could not have done it without your love
and the vessels you sent my way to help.
I no longer feel unloved, ashamed or pity
for you have rescued my soul.

Thank you for the cross,
for giving up yourself in an unworthy manner,
for being unselfish, for being God.

This is what it means to be free
to be totally forgiven
and truly loved.

Lord I get it now, I understand.
Thank you for my new life,
new concepts, and my new adventure.
Thank you for giving me a second chance.

(Thank you God for renewing me March 26, 2010)